Our Life.

One of these days, while thinking about universities and where I was going for my winter break, I got into an interesting conversation. Why does our life always have to be shaped according to the future? Right now for example, I would rather be meeting new people, than learning my monologue for theatre, or writing my TOK. But all my decisions, are made depending on what is best for me in the long run, I need to have good grades, so the best for me is to study.
“Carpe Diem”, does anyone these days follow this ideology? That is a really difficult question to answer, because saying “No”, would be overlooking a few of the people who actually follow it. However in MUWCI, I think that no one follows this. Everyone here, is either looking forward to meet someone in the future, thinking what actions would be the best to achieve good grades to enter into good colleges, or thinking about what are they going to do when they go back or where are they going to travel in winter.
Humans these days, live their life, either in the future or in the past, either thinking on the “what would have been” or “in ... I will...”. That frustrates me, because I feel that I’m being so hypocritical with myself, I always said before to all of my friends, live life right now, in the present, but in this moment, I can’t, even though I want to, there are other forces that take me back and keep me thinking about my future, about how I need to study and achieve a good grade to get a scholarship. And while thinking about that, I get even more annoyed, because then I think, and after that? Is the living in the future over? And i realize that it is not, because then I have to have good grades in universities, so I can graduate, and then I have to find a job, and I have to be good at that job so I can get promotions, because if not my life would be a routine, and everything would be the same, everyday. Then I would start looking for a family, and when I find “the” person, we would start thinking about our wedding. So then, I believe that it’s almost impossible to live life, in the present, to be like Nietzsche wants us to be, because we live in a society, that is structure in a way, that you have to aim goals, and all your life, revolves around them, and that somehow, limits our freedom, so therefore, we are prisoners of our future.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

Changes

What we all second years are going through right now is a series of radical changes that are part of our lives. After all, life is all about that, changes. Evolving, transforming, becoming someone better or someone worse. What is happening to our community is not yet defined, but it cannot be argued that it is not different.
Since we are small we go through a lot of phases, and MUWCI in the first year and the second year are two completely different phases. First you are here to learn and to fit in, and then you are here, to teach, learn and adjust to changes.
This at first sight is not much of a philosophical topic, but we can perceive it from a different light and look at this situation as a change of our reality. The reality that was MUWCI for us, changed completely to a new reality, one that one’s mind, one’s emotions, and oneself is not used to.

I’d like to think that this is the last level that we are going to play in the game of life, however it is actually one of the first ones and, I dare say, one of the most difficult ones as well. I feel empty, and what MUWCI meant for me, has changed completely to another definition, and what I was, before MUWCI and before coming back as a second year, shows a lot how this place and how the interaction with different people, helps to builds one self and identity. How we are not one person always, and how our identity is constantly changing, but with our essence remaining. In my case for example, now I look back at who I used to be, and I prefer who I am now, I'm a completely new person, with a different mentality. This place shapes each one of us a lot. And now being a second year, gives me a lot more of responsibilities, because what I am, how I act, and what I am becoming, is not only going to affect me, but it is also going to take a big part on what the first years around me are going to become. The person shaped in these two years would be the person that is going to go out to the real world, and the only thing that I can do is try to always keep the good things that I learn throughout this experience.

So if we are having such a hard time getting use to these changes, how is it going to be when we go out to the real world?